I read your story, sorry to hear about what is physically and emotionally dragging you while still in the process. I won't come here to make you feel bad. I think for someone to give an honest opinion, need to know all the details. This article, which by the way, inspired me in so many levels, but not necessarily like others might vilify here. Is your truth. Is your side of the story, your suffering, your struggle. I saw a piece of my story with yours, but at least you got married, at least you had a family, you still do by all means. In my case, I have always known I don't fit with the standard man, I have a mind of my own and I knew I did not want to deal with partnership so I decided to date, but my relationships are never long and I end them before they go that far. And I am happy. I do have a son whom I ADORE and he is my whole universe. I never found a man that would make me feel like ADORING him or needing him to be happy, anyways. I write poetry, I need love and I find love in everything and anyone around me. I see life with another lenses and no men could deal with my freedom of mind and I never wanted to be restricted to one relationship. I have loved deeply and I have left him and I have loved them even after they are gone. I really wish you the best and I think time will heal the wounds that seem quiet opened right now. You are a unique woman, you know what you want and makes you happy, I really hope you do and fight for it. Your kids will not hate you like some other person said. Just be honest with them and they will sense you. Don't think of the speedy recovery, think one day at the time. Look at the window and reinvent your life. Catch the previous mistakes and amend them. You cannot go back but if you do, be the better you. Having implants do not make a woman superficial, in my opinion. I don't have implants and I don't wear make up either but as a woman I understand that sometimes we need to do things that hep us fly better. You got this, and thanks for sharing.